Believe in Boxer Briefs

 Let me set the scene for you;

marry me. 

You’ve been seeing this certain someone for quite a while now … he’s attractive, intelligent and the perfect gentleman (I’m picturing Ryan Gosling right now, you can insert your own fantasy). After weeks of dates and cuddling you’ve finally decided to stop torturing him, and let him spend the night. Everything is in place and the mood is set. You’re looking like a rocket and channeling your inner VS Angel, and then he drops his pants and it’s all over … bright yellow Bart Simpson boxers.

“Uhm, actually I have this really big English essay due tomorrow, I have to do it now.”

  … “Now?”

“Yes, right now, you have to leave.”

There is nothing worse, or more awkward, than a man who has no idea (or just doesn’t care) what type of undergarments are age appropriate. He could be perfect, a-la the Ryan Gosling fantasy I described above, but if he doesn’t wear the right underwear it’s just not gonna happen, and getting out of that situation is loads of awkward… trust me. So I think the best way to tackle this is to educate our men on what is, and what isn’t, appropriate. 

Here is my chart of age appropriate underwear choices:

Age 2-11: briefs/tighty-whiteys

Age 12-18: boxers (get all the Bart Simpson boxers you want boys)

Age 19-39: boxer briefs (the only thing appropriate for an adult man with any kind of sex appeal)

Age 40-60: boxers

Age 61+: briefs/tightey-whiteys (see, it all comes full circle)

See what I mean? 

I mean, women spends tons of money on the perfect lingerie, always matching and seasonally appropriate, so is it too much to ask that my boyfriend just wear boxer briefs? I don’t think so.

good luck ladies.