It's Not Me, It's You...

Almost everyone has experienced a breakup. Whether you’re the breaker or the break-ee; it’s uncomfortable, it’s emotional, and it’s definitely awkward!

Sometimes I think I might be heartless. 

I think the awkward factor is definitely more prevalent when you’re the breaker rather than the break-ee. I can only speak from personal experience, but every time someone has broken up with me I become a melodramatic mess! There’s the crying and the shock (obviously, like why would you want to break up with me?!) and the embarrassment, of course. So I’ve decided that being broken up with is definitely more embarrassing than it is awkward, and being the heart breaker is when the situation gets a bit rawkward!

When you break up with someone, you kind of have to rehearse it in your head or with your friends beforehand. You know you’re going to be asked “why?” and you better have a damn good reason so there’s no chance for them to swoop in with the “we can make it work, let’s just try!” … no. The whole “it’s not you it’s me” thing is completely overdone, and we all know it’s definitely the other way around, if you were so awesome I wouldn’t be breaking up with you! And that’s when the whole situation gets rawkward, because they’re standing there all upset and unattractive and you’re trying to figure out an escape route. Now all of this may make me sound like a heartless soul sucker, but I’m really not … I just get uncomfortable when boys cry and act pathetic.

So I’ve discovered a way to break up with someone in a way where there’s no crying, they don’t hate you afterwards, and it makes the situation a little bit less awkward. It’s actually very simple, all you have to do is play it in a way where they think the break up is on their terms. Now you might be confused by this statement, but let me explain with a few of my favourite lines; “I can tell the relationship hasn’t been the same lately”, “I’m holding you back”, “You deserve to see what else is out there so you know what really makes you happy” … and finally you finish off with the “I understand if you want to break up” … BAM suddenly THEY think that they’re breaking up with YOU … done. Now you might think that this all sounds a little too easy, but honestly this method is tried, tested and true. It works like a charm every single time, and completely takes the awkwardness out of the situation! All you have to do is act all sad and solemn, but understanding. So ya it might still be awkward for them, but in your head you’re all “hehehe as if you would break up with me” and it completely takes the rawkward out of your day. PLUS every time they see you they’re all nice and sweet because they think they broke your heart … win, win.

Now what if you change your mind and you want them back? Well I’ve found that it’s pretty easy because hey, they never really wanted to break up with you in the first place right?!

Now let’s just hope none of my exes read this blog … rawkward! 

... and if this plan really doesn't work ... you can always try Jenna Marbles' "The Face"